Thursday, March 17, 2005
(Loving You Is All I Ever Knew How To Do)

The night we met you promised it was me you would keep
You vowed that tears you could never make me weep
You said it was me who had completed your entire year
Another year down the track looks at us both standing
here...
That night together who could have really known the effect?
Neither of us aware a growing love would reflect
Falling for you I did promise to never ever succumb
But sharing this time did make me believe you the one...
Perhaps it was me going and falling to fast
Or both of desperations to escape our fading past
But the promises and passion did slowly begin to die
I find myself once again, left alone to cry...

And cry one million tears I did indeed
For the loss of that love, lack of fulfillment of my needs
Then it came, the crashing bombshell heavy blow
The hidden secret I truly wish I did not know...
From that day forth a change occurred
My heart was broken, my voice was not heard
With communication gone, and our relationship lost
I realize every precious love has its final cost...
That year of happiness did surely have its price
I should have known and been prepared to sacrifice
As my apprehension grew, your interest did disappear
I find myself confronting my worst, most hurtful fear...

My worst, most hurtful fear living a life without you
After every time I have been there to support you through
When push came to shove you couldn't do the same
You've broken your promises and caused me so much pain...
I am forced to live with out you, with out your love
This is tough for me when you're all that I can think of
You were my reason to be, what I did exist for
Now that it’s gone I don't know what I'm supposed to live
for...
You and I are over and can never be us again
It'll be too painful and hard too even try and be friends
I find myself trying to move on without you
When loving you is all I ever knew how to do...
soul rider @ 5:57 PM
______________________________


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EXCEPT the heaven had come so near
So seemed to choose my door
The distance would not haunt me so
I had not hoped before.

But just to hear the grace depart
I never thought to see
Afflicts me with a double loss
'T is lost, and lost to me.

- Emily Dickinson